morvia99

I wonder what it would feel like to shoot myself? I bet it would hurt alot...


fuck that.

I haven't posted in a loooooong time.

Today was a great day!

Tommy called to let me know that he had a meeting with the freakin' OWNER of Aftermath about me, I should get a call tomorrow! Goddam, this couldn't have come at a better time, im glad that Tommy is such a good friend, I dunno what I would do without such great friends.

Then I got AMAZING Indian food at Mefil off Douglas, they don't have Naan sitting out, they make it fresh for your table. The chicken curry and masala were amazing as always and they had delicious chai....yum!

All that food made me thirsty so i stopped by work for a free Americano and found out that I had won partner of the month! $35 and everybody telling me how rad I am was super cool!

By the time the caffine kicked in it was time for the ASVAB, I wasn't too happy about it since I hadn't studied and don't really want to even think about the military, but these are tough times and what better place to ride out the economic storm than in uncle sam's house? Even without studying I got an 82 out of 99, not too bad! espically since the kid who was just outta high school got a 74 and this shit is fresh in his mind. The field with the highest requirement is Nuclear and that requires a ASVAB of 80, so I can pretty much get whatever job I want. Oh, and Nuclear Machinist Mates get a $100,000 enlistment bonus (!!!!)

So I get home all happy from my day and I see an e-mail from Bryan Riefcheck at aftermath (the big HR boss) APOLOGIZING (!!!) for taking so long to get back to me and assuring me that he will make my app top priority tomorrow morning!!!

Wow! I wish every day was this great!

Oh by the way, Tommy made $4500 last WEEK at Aftermath, and if i want to relocate to Texas for supervisor training (since I have college creds) I will get a $10k bonus and a salary of 11-15k a MONTH. Holy fuck.

One day I'm happy, the next I am sad as hell...

I'm my own worst enemy, I would have to be...I'm the only one who pays attention to myself enough to hate.

I have absolutely NO desire to write this paper, even less of one to do the presentation that follows it...

*grumble*

For the better it seems.

Being without an income for this long has really stripped me down to the frame of myself as a consumer, I had always been against the consumer culture but I never realized just how much of a part of it I was.

I have met others who share my disdain for this joke of a life they tried to cram down our throats our whole lives. I have discovered what it means to really live! It is not the struggle at a bullshit job you hate so that you can afford the nice clothes and the Escalade. Rich relationships with great people are free, but they have more value than any amount of money. Sure, you have to have money to eat, be clothed, and warmed. But these things are the only things that one really NEEDS from money, all of the other crap is needless excess.

Being forced to ride around town on a bike, or to walk around, has really showed me the hidden beauty of this place. Hidden around this wasteland of concrete and excess are gems of natural wonder. Take the many abandoned quarry's that dot this town, once great pits of capitalism with huge bustling machines ripping the rock from the earth to make luxury countertops for the bourgeoisie. Now the machines have long rusted away and nature has begun to take back what man has stolen from her, the pits have been filled with water by the rains, plants by the winds, and fish from someplace unknown. All along the craggy walls sprout weeds and blackberry until the ugly grey scar is almost erased by lush greenery. This is wonderful to me, how soon our destruction is repaired by nature's awesome power! Being out there in the middle of all of it, standing next to an old machine eroded by rust makes me feel like the only person left after some unexplained Armageddon...and I fucking love it.

Yes my friends I too am ceasing use of the magic plant. My decision is not due to any shame, nor is it due to my disgust with anybody, I don't think you are a loser for smoking.

I simply feel that it is a poor investment, I am working very hard to trim all of the fat from my budget since I have zero income and some unavoidable expenses (insurance, GAS.)

Also on the chopping block is my WoW membership, full-coverage insurance, upgraded speed internet, energy drink fund, and possibly my cell phone though I am desperately trying to find a a cheaper plan.

This should lower my monthly expenditures to just around $150, a total I cannot possibly reduce while I own the 5.0, and I am considering selling that too.

Fuck the recession.

was awesome! I loved the music and everybody was super friendly, I got hugged by so many old black ladies in red hats it was great. Almost missed the bus, but luckily my instructor was even more late lol(z). If you ever find yourself wandering around the tenderloin don't eat at Mason street deli, service sucked and the food wasn't even good, for the price I would have expected way more.

I have to write a paper on how Glide conforms to the social norms of "a church" and how it deviates from them, I won't bore you with the details, however. ;P

people who think they are better simply because they have more money, money does not make you a better person, get the fuck over yourself

It makes me feel so deeply hurt to be hated, sure there are a few people I hate (Larry) but its really quite different when you are the target of hatred, I really don't like the feeling at all...but I guess I will have to get used to it.

Pretty sure that Aqua-Tech is a scam. That and I had to ask my dad for gas money, he gave me $10 and it took the entire $10 (2.9gallons) to get there and back. And since I am not going to ask him for any more $$ Im pretty much not going to be able to go to work tomorrow...so much for that.

*Depression*

Yes, its a DCFC song, so shoot me.

"Someday you will be loved"

I once knew a girl
In the years of my youth
With eyes like the summer
All beauty and truth
In the morning I fled
Left a note and it read
Someday you will be loved.

I cannot pretend that I felt any regret
Cause each broken heart will eventually mend
As the blood runs red down the needle and thread
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved

You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And everytime tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved

:(

I had so much fun from Tuesday thru Friday.
And while I was out I felt great, happy and all that.
But as soon as its over I am depressed again.
Its kinda my fault, I had a chance to go out again Saturday night but I decided everybody must be sick of me after 4 days.
So I didn't.

I really need to learn how to get over whatever this is that makes me fear asking people to hang out with me. I am afraid that they are only saying yes because they feel sorry for, or are annoyed by me and just say yes to shut me up.

So in synopsis, Curt is crazy kinda.

Ha

I fucking mean it, why don't people get that?
It doesn't mean maybe, it means NO

I greatly dislike my life

I am so tired of being alone all the time

"Ok so here is the deal. The 240 has not and will not pass smog. I invested 600 into it to try to get it to pass, but it still failed. We went to the dmv to see if there was anything we could do, but they said since I am not the registered owner I cant do anything. Even though we signed an "as is" document, it doesnt exist. I asked the lady at the dmv, and she told me that there was no such thing as an as is agreement. They said that the owner is financially responsible, so therefore I am screwed.

so here are your options

since you are the registered owner, you can apply for the financial aid to try to get it to pass, or you can sell it to the state and get 1000$ and remburse me for the money i spent.

IF you sell it to the state, you will make a profit out of it.

let me know, because the smog sticker is only good for a little while longer. I cant apply for anymore stickers. We should meet somewhere so you can take the 240 back.

I already have another car, so I dont need the 240.
shayla
"

"Every day is exactly the same"

I never go out.

I fucking hate it here, in this cramped little closet.
This stinking hole in which a bed and computer have been forced.

After work, its back here.
After class, here.

I have no friends, I have no life.

My bank account is empty, but I never use the money.

I have 2 final projects due in weeks, and they have not been started.

My car is falling apart, I have neither money nor desire to fix it.

THC is no fun alone.

My brain is degrading.

Every day is exactly the same.

*I hope you don't have to ask who this is by* comment with your interpretation of the lyrics

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.
See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly.
I'm crying.

Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come.
Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday.
MAN, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus,
goo goo g'joob

Mister City P'liceman sitting
Pretty little policemen in a row.
See how they fly like Lucy in the Sky, see how they run.
I'm crying.
I'm cry------------ing, I'm crying.

Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye.
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess,
Boy, you been a naughty girl and you let your Knickers down.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus,
goo goo g'joob.

Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun.
If the sun don't come, you get a tan from
Standing in the English rain.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus,
goo goo g'joob, goo goo goo g'joob.

Expert texpert choking smokers,
Don't you think the joker laughs at you? (ho ho ho, he he he, ha ha ha)
See how they smile like pigs in a sty, see how they snide.
I'm crying.

Semolina Pilchard, climbing up the Eiffel Tower.
Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna.
Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus,
goo goo g'joob, goo goo goo g'joob, goo goo g'joob, goo goo goo g'joob, goo goo